Contentment
Too often we allow ourselves to fall victim to the negative things happening in our lives. First, we have to recognize that victims never allow themselves to grow or learn from negative experiences. Second, we must realize that we have to take some kind of ownership in these difficulties of our lives. It is understood that a lot of things are out of our control; but even in the worst situations we do have control over how we handle these roadblocks. Every action, negative or positive, gives us an opportunity to react. We can either sit and dwell in the negativity to allow a situation that we have no power over control our lives, OR we have the choice to look at the current situation from an aerial viewpoint and see what we can do about it. Why drive yourself crazy over something that you have absolutely no control over? It's counterproductive and gets you nowhere. Instead, think of all the ways that you can take your current situation and transform the negative energy into motivation for something good to come of it. Maybe that's using your experience to help other people become better? Maybe it's using the experience as fuel to drive your ambitions to overcome whatever roadblock you may be facing at the current moment? The opportunities are endless.
At CSUF I had one of my Kinesiology professors teach me something I know she did not intend. She begins the lecture on psychological readiness in an athlete that has gone through a traumatic event and explains that there is a 5 step process to being "okay". This got me thinking- this procedure relates to almost any traumatic situation we may encounter in our lives, not just injuries in athletes. This process is known as DABDA.
Step 1) Denial."This can't be happening"
Step 2) Anger. "What did I do to deserve this?"
Step 3) Bargaining. "Maybe I could have done something different."
Step 4) Depression. "What am I going to do"
Step 5) Acceptance. "I've grown from this"
We all have events in our lives that greatly impact us, traumatic or not - perception is reality. This isn't a formula that works in a 5 day or 5 week process. It's very easy to bounce between each stage, and it will fluctuate. But, once we learn that every bad event comes with a silver lining we'd be happier people. Embracing tragedy for the ugly experience it is, and understanding that opportunities and personal growth come from these life experiences.
Keep on pushing through.
It may not be okay.. But I promise you will be.